Several Great Minds Wrestle with Another Important Issue of Their Day

Who would win a fight between Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking?

Andrew: It has to be Helen Keller. That is, provided that we are talking about Helen Keller in her prime. I don't know about "old" Helen Keller, but Helen Keller at 25? Certainly she would win a fight with a man in a wheelchair. He can't move right? He'd drive his wheelchair into her and she'd take one hit, but then she'd know where he was, and that'd be it. She'd grab a hold of him and it would be over.

Jacob: I have to disagree. Stephen Hawking is a genius. I mean, excluding the possibility that Helen Keller's sense of touch is heightened to the point where she can use it to "see" a la Daredevil, I have to think that Hawking would win with his intelligence. Helen Keller wouldn't even be able to find him before he pulled some equation out of his ass, altered the matter around Helen Keller and made her head explode.

Max: I agree with Jacob. Think about when Batman fights Superman. That's an excellent comparison-- Superman has all the physical advantages over Batman, but through superior planning and intellect Batman wins. Similarly, Helen Keller has full mobility, a distinct advantage over Stephen Hawking, but I think even if he wasn't able to actually explode her head, he would still win through superior strategy and tactics.

Andrew: But how do we really know Stephen Hawking is a genius? Has any of us read his books? Do we understand the physics that he discusses in them? No, we assume he is a genius because we are told he is one, by the people who market his books and television programs. Stephen Hawking is nothing more than a puppet of marketing, and as such, fodder for Helen Keller's fearsome left hook. Consider: This woman overcame being born blind, deaf, and mute to become an important voice for social reform. She wrote books, lots of them. How? She had not only a great intellect, but also drive and toughness. No way does she lose to some shriveled up little bitch in a chair, no matter what equations he knows.

Jacob: Man, I'm just gonna go about my day and pretend like you didn't say that.