One Friday afternoon in college I came home to find the following on my dry-erase board:
"Andrew- Dr. Blakemore called. He wants your presentation on solidarity maps ready for Monday."
I entered the room, passed my roommate Clay working at his computer, and went over to my bed to put down the books I was carrying. I started doing standard mid-afternoon things- took shoes off, opened a coke, began playing Diablo II.
"Did you see that Dr. Blakemore called?" asked Clay after a few minutes.
"Yeah. Did he say anything else?"
"No, just that your presentation on solidarity maps was due Monday."
"Clay, what's a solidarity map?"
"I dunno man, you're the one taking-- what is it?"
"European Diplomatic History from 1870 to present."
"Yeah, you're taking it, so you should know. Anyway, you better know by Monday."
"Uh huh."
At this point I got to a hard part in Diablo II, and I stopped talking. Of course, that Monday I didn't make any such presentation. That's because Dr. Blakemore never called. For that matter, solidarity maps don't exist; Clay made them up. I knew this when I read it on the board, and decided to play along.
A couple of weeks later I was sitting at my computer when Clay came in, carrying a laundry basket he had taken home.
"Hi," he said. "I e-mailed Dr. Blakemore for you."
"What?"
"Yeah, to see if solidarity maps would be on the exam."
"No you didn't."
"Of course I did, I wanted you to be prepared. Not like with your presentation."
"Oh bullshit. This isn't funny."
"Okay, whatever."
A few minutes went by, and I started to feel a little nervous.
"You didn't really e-mail him, did you?"
"Yes, I really did."
"Can I have some kind of proof?"
"I could forward you his reply."
"HE REPLIED??"
The e-mail read:
Dr. Blakemore-
Will solidarity maps be covered on the final exam?
Sincerely,
Andrew
Below was the reply:
Andrew-
I have no idea what you are talking about.
Sincerely,
P. Blakemore
I screamed at Clay at the time, but in retrospect it is one of my fondest memories. Thank you, Clay. Please do not take my gratitude as invitation to do anything like this again, now or at any point in the future.
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3 comments:
when I read this I had to stifle my laughter cause I was at work, so my eyes got all watery. I think that the note said 'your solidarity maps are due' rather than 'presentation on solidarity maps', but I could be wrong. Also, I think I muffed up the name a little bit so it would seem more realistic ... didn't it say 'porter' called or something like that? That's indeed a fond (and hilarious) memory.
The question is: what *is* a solidarity map? I have some ideas ...
Man I miss those dry erase boards!
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
Excellent.
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