"But what if he has to pee?"

When I was little I had this best friend Danny who lived across the street from me. We did lots of stuff together: turned over cinder blocks to look at the bugs underneath, played hide and seek with Bob the navy Seal who lived down the street (Bob would climb twenty feet up into the trees and stay there perfectly still for thirty minutes), tried to ride his Weinmariner Gunther, and Danny watched his sister Bevin knock my front teeth out during a game of Uno. I told him about Santa Claus, and he told me about sex.
Danny telling me about sex is a good story, one that I will relate here for those who haven't heard it already.

One morning I went across the street to visit Danny.
"Hello Mrs. Richardson," I said to Danny's mother when she answered the door. "Can Danny play?"
"Sure Andy, come on in. Him and Mary are up in his room."
So I went upstairs and knocked on Danny's bedroom door, which was locked.
"Danny?"
"Go away."
"Why?"
"Me and Mary are having sex."
"Oh. Okay."
So I went back downstairs.
"Bye Mrs. Richardson!" I called.
"Seeya Andy!" she called back.

I went back home and sat down in front of the television, where my mother found me soon after.
"Andy, what are you doing back? Weren't you going over to Danny's?"
"I did, but he's busy."
"Busy?"
"Yeah, him and Mary are having sex."
"I doubt that very much."
Six year olds get indignant easily. "No, he is! Really, he told me."
"Do you know what sex is Andy?"
So actually my mother told me about sex, but Danny was the first person I heard say the word.

The next day I told Danny all about sex, and of course he was shocked. It turns out that one night Mrs. Richardson, who had divorced Mr. Richardson not long before, brought a man home to spend the night. The morning after, when Danny banged on the door demanding to know when she would get up, she told him,
"Go away! We're having sex!"
"What's that?" asked Danny.
"It's what boys and girls do when they're alone together."
So naturally, when Mary came to visit Danny told her about it, and they had sex on the floor of his closet. That is to say, they sat there quietly and felt grown-up.
"It was kind of boring," Danny told me later of his first time. "Mary kept asking when we could do something else, but I kept saying we hadn't been doing it long enough. Then she got mad and we watched You Can't Do That On Television."