Satan's Pussy

Today I heard this story from Jonathan Knowles. I want it to be true.
And I'm paraphrasing him. As James Frey might say, "This is how I remembered him telling it"--

"So this guy I'm friends with, he told me about this girl he works with who cuts herself. Which, you know, that's really horrible, and I kinda feel bad telling this cause I don't wanna make light of cutting yourself. But whatever. This girl cuts herself, and she needs to be smarter about it cause she isn't allowed to wear long sleeves. But she's not smart, she just cuts herself wherever, and she comes into work the other day with this pentagram cut into her forearm. And the boss brings her into his office to ask about it, and she's like 'my cat did it.' "