Why Doesn't Anyone Else Care About This Stuff?

I've been sick for two weeks with some sort of sinus infection that my doctor described as "one of those bugs." He smirked when he said this, and went on to tell me that it was good that I had come in, that my weekend was going to be horrible, but that he would try to "head it off at the pass." He then handed me a prescription for augmentin and three free samples of decongestant medication his office is being paid to advertise by pharmaceutical companies.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Louis Chisholm! That will be $20!
In the middle of this illness I found solace in two completely unrelated, rather small events that, though trivial, raised me from my gloom. Head held high, I blew the fluid from my nose, looked that small army of hyperactive children in the eyes, and said "Here you children, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, thou art not so!"

1. This week HBO renewed The Wire for a fifth and final season.
and
2. Someone in my fantasy football league traded me Carson Palmer for Corey Dillon and Laurence Maroney.

It is in my nature to share the things that make me happy with those around me, and I told all my coworkers and friends about my good fortune. After being humored in different degrees by several, it was as I told my boss about Carson Palmer that I realized that my happiness, while important to me, is inherently boring to others. My boss put a good face on it, smiled and congratulated me on my trade and my favorite tv show, but in her eyes I could see the blank stare of courtesy. She's too nice a person to tell me to go away.

RE: The Wire
I've been meaning to write about The Wire, greatest show in the history of television, for a long time, and I will put it off yet again so as not to shortchange it. For now I'll suffice to say that hearing it had been renewed, in spite of low ratings, shocked me in the best possible way: apparently people aren't always motivated by greed, and sometimes things do work out the way we want them to.

RE: Fantasy Football--
My first week of fantasy football did not go well, and I would like to put it in terms that people unfamiliar with fantasy sports or football in general can understand.
Imagine that a movie was coming out that starred Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Murray, Meryl Streep, Toni Collete, Michael Caine, Flava Flave (who turns out to be BRILLIANT), and the somehow resuscitated corpse of Jimmy Stewart. Suspend disbelief a second further and pretend that this cast existed, somehow worked well together, and that the movie was getting great word of mouth from people you respected. And then you saw it and found out you had somehow missed that this was a remake of Cannonball Run II.
That was my first week of fantasy football: lots of hype, a lot of players who were supposed to be amazing, and none of them did a goddamn thing. I lost to my friend Jon, who I was watching the games with, and he spent the afternoon half-heartedly making fun of me. I think part of him wanted to enjoy the win, but the other half felt too sorry for me to really get into it. We ate burgers, and I yelled "GODDAMN YOU LARRY JOHNSON" and things of that nature, and I went home angry with a headache, too sick to drink the beer I thought might have made things better.
On Tuesday when Traci wrote to ask if I wanted Carson Palmer in exchange for two of my back-up players, it seemed like a chance for a fresh start. Again the movie comparison: this is equivalent to getting Edward Norton in exchange for Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ricky Jay. After some complications, the trade has gone through, and I will be starting my new quarterback today against Chuck's Hell Freaks. In spite of my new acquisition I fully expect to lose again, and I'll probably tell my boss about it.
"That's too bad Andrew, really. I'm sure Carmen will do better next week. How are you feeling? Better? Glad to hear it. Now can you head next door and make me some copies?"