Drinking as it Relates to Depression Derived from a Career Scuttled by Puberty

Recently both Mel Gibson and Haley Joel Osment were arrested for driving while intoxicated. Mr. Gibson’s transgression is much the more widely reported offense due to his greater fame, power, and his spectacular ability to say just the right thing to law enforcement, but I was more interested in the troubles of young Mr. Osment, whose career has fallen on hard times since his voice cracked and he was seen in the appalling Secondhand Lions (which Daniel Neman probably reviewed under some hilarious headline like “Secondhand Movie!" What a sparkling wiit that guy is.).
I remember going to see Secondhand Lions with my dad in the aftermath of Hurricane Isabelle. Like the rest of Richmond we were without power and running water, and the idea of going somewhere with lights and air conditioning was appealing, and Robert Duval and Michael Caine are both actors of a certain reputation, and we though, “What the hell? It can’t be worse than sitting here in the dark picking our noses.” We were wrong.
I remember walking out of the Carmike movie theater feeling relieved to be back admist the destruction, and also feeling certain that Mr. Osment was on his way out. Being the sharp, insightful person that I am, violinist Sir Yehudi Menhuin came to mind, and how his bow arm went to shit once he hit his twenties. This seems to be the way of child prodigies: they achieve success on instinct alone, only to fail later when they get a little older and start over-thinking things. Then they get drunk and wreck their Prius. Or turn to Eastern philosophy if you are Yehudi Menuhin.