In a now famous incident, the Dave Matthews Band tour bus dumped 800 pounds of excrement into the Chicago River in August of 2004. It is a particularly ugly coincidence (a coincidence that may perhaps be viewed as a metaphor for what Dave Matthews Band and its music have perpetrated on our culture) that the excrement happened to fall onto a passing vessel, Chicago's Little Lady, raining on the heads of roughly a hundred tourists in the middle of a cruise. The state of Illinois has filed a lawsuit against the band seeking damages in the amount of $70,000.
Syllogism the First-
1. Dave Matthews Band got its start in Charlottesville, and, it may be assumed, enjoyed the support of the residents of that city.
2. Charlottesville is a college town centered around the University of Virginia (of Charlottesville's population of roughly 40,000 people, roughly 30,000 attend or are employed by the University).
3. A large number of people associated with the University of Virginia like the Dave Matthews Band.
Syllogism the Second-
1. A large number of people at the University of Virginia like the Dave Matthews Band.
2. The Dave Matthews Band not only releases album after album of spectacularly awful music but also dumps shit on people.
3. Standards at the University of Virginia are perhaps not as high as we are led to believe.
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2 comments:
amen.
I sent this entry to my elitist music geek friends and they loved it. Two of them even went to UVA and they agreed whole-heartedly. To add fire to flames, they enlisted a hip-hop producer to record their latest plate of poo, when the alternative producer didn't work out five years back (for, naturally, their "alternative" album). What a band.
It might just be me, but I would pay to see a tape of all that shit raining all over those people... That actually is kinda funny.
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