Jesus is so gay

It's been roughly a month since I wrote something here, and while I'm sure most people could care less, a few nice people have noticed. One such person just yelled at me about it for probably the third time this week. In an effort to make her happy here is something short, totally mediocre, and incredibly offensive-- the best I could do.

The other day at work I was talking to Tommy the receiving manager about his upcoming art show, to be held in the Barnes and Noble Cafe. Tommy's gay, and the discussion steered its way to politics and gay rights, at which point I suggested to Tommy that he paint a picture of George W. Bush sodomizing a man with a cross. I think this image would make a powerful political statement, and while the uproar it would no doubt create would certainly get Tommy fired from his job at Barnes and Noble, it could possibly jump start his career as an artist. It's the sort of thing the national media loves to latch onto.

Brief afterthought- I think it's entirely possible that Jesus was a buttpirate. If He wasn't involved with any women then I believe He had to be. I refuse to believe He wasn't fucking something.

Second afterthought, loosely tied to the first- This one time in high school I asked a fundamentalist Christian girl if she would give Christ head if He asked for it. I regret doing this, but still think it's an interesting question. I wish I had raised it in a more appropriate environment, such as Sunday school.