Jesus Would Tell You To Shut the Fuck Up

Right now I am parked outside of a clinic that performs abortions watching some crazy people exploit their children. They are dressed like they came from church, they're singing hymns, and the children are holding up signs that say things like "Roe is saved!" and "Every life is a gift!"
Boy, do I hate these people. I have decided to protest them. I'm going to make some signs that say things like, "That Kid Should Be in School Learning About Evolution," "Stop Raising Self-Righteous Assholes," and "God Does Make Trash, and It's Standing Over There," and I'm going to come down here and sing hymns and act like I'm praying for these peoples' souls.
I say "act"," because I don't believe in God. That said- I do like to think that if there were a God he'd hate these people as much as I do.

Back in the TV Saddle

Recently I borrowed an antennae from my father so that I could watch TV. For the last two years I have used my TV exclusively to watch movies and play video games-- I couldn't afford cable and I didn't think network TV was worth the effort. The football season changed my mind about the antennae, but once I let the networks into my home I foudn it difficult to limit my viewing to Sundays.
Last night I watched a program on PBS about the human heart. I saw a man have all the blood drained out of his body and replaced with ice water. I saw a young man with a defibrillator implanted in his chest- programmed to restart his heart if it began to fail.
“Wow,” I thought, “this stuff is amazing! Why didn’t I get an antennae for this TV sooner?”
I changed the channel to CBS, and saw the tail end of a police procedural where a young man was explaining that he and his girlfriend had entered into a suicide pact because of their outstanding credit card debt.
“Oh,” I thought, “now I remember why.”