You Can't Stop Them Growing Up

Monday I found out that my favorite kid, the one who farts, is going to start staying home after school. I spent a quarter of an hour or so talking to her mom about it, and managed to remain professional and keep a good face. On the way home I got quite sad, and stopped off to buy groceries. I discovered afterwards that the check I’d deposited earlier in the day hadn’t gone through yet and that my groceries had overdrawn my account, but I didn’t care. You can only feel down about so many things at once.
While walking toward my apartment building with two plastic bags and a case of beer I was approached by a young man asking for spare change. I felt for a couple quarters, but there weren’t any. On an impulse I offered him a beer instead.
“Yeah,” he said happily, “That’ll work!”
So I opened my twelve pack of Sam Adams and pulled one out.
“I’m sorry it’s not twist off,” I said. “Do you know how to open it on the curb?”
“No,” he said awkwardly. We stared at one another. It was becoming a hassle, but I couldn’t take back what I’d offered.
“Stay put,” I said, and ran upstairs for a bottle opener.
When I got back we opened it and he took a swig.
“Thank you,” he said, “and Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas,” I answered back, but whatever feeling of warmth I’d been hoping for didn’t come. Lonely, I went upstairs, killed a few roaches, and started making dinner.